Thursday, March 14, 2013

Thoughts from a Perfect Mother (my take on a lovely post from Kelly Stamps)

This may be totally frowned upon in Blogger world.
To read another's post and allow it to inspire one of your own.
But, I'll play the I didn't know, I'm new to all of this card.
And beg for forgiveness instead of permission.

The truth is, I love reading other blogs that inspire.
Be it a new style, scripture reading, a new recipe.
 I love this community!

Kelly Stamps is a beautiful woman of Christ with two precious girls.
She writes a lovely blog, Kelly's Korner, which I encourage you to read.
You will be blessed.
She's real, and honest, and encouraging, and someone I have come to admire.

This week, she wrote a post entitled "Thoughts from a Perfect Mother."
And while she's all the way in Arkansas, I could have sworn she glimpsed into my less than perfect life for inspiration for this post.
The words she wrote were the words I wanted to say, but was scared to say out loud, and couldn't say as gracefully if I tried.

I too, have been guilty of judging other mothers, or casting down eyes at them as I pass their tantrum-throwing-toddler in the aisle of Target, 
or mentally added their words and actions to my mental list of 
"Things This Mama Will Never, Ever, Ever Do or Say to My Children." 
This list. 
It exists. 
Although it gets shorter each day as I mark things off, realizing that nothing is sacred. 
And to never, ever, ever say you will never, ever, ever do something.

Before I became a mother, I internally chastised others for letting their children rule their lives. 
That they no longer had a name, for it was replaced with "(insert child's name) Mom."
How dare they not make time for their husband, or their friends.
Trips to the grocery store were their chosen locale for a few minutes of solitude?
Primetime television shows were replaced with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?
Car trips were invaded by Silly Songz 6. Oh the madness!
And toys. All over the house? What happened to one room? Or at least one corner of each room?

Oh, ignorance is bliss.
Or just plain ignorant.

This week, with a teething ten month old, who also has strep throat for the second time in 13 days, I have been the mother causing others to turn up their noses.
And this isn't the first time.
It doesn't take a sick baby to cause me to be a less than perfect mother.
It happens every single day. 
Many, many times each day.

I have complained about Baker going to sleep early, saddened that I don't have enough time with him after work. But last night, I actually sighed a breath of relief when he finally closed those sweet brown eyes and rested those chubby arms and replaced words with blissful snores. 

The pitiful eyes that peered up at me were finally closed, the arms that reached high beckoning me to hold him were tucked angelically beneath his chin, and the little lips that cried "Mama" all day long were finally silenced. 

What kind of mother celebrates their child going to sleep?
I had prayed for this child, my sweet Baker, long and hard and earnestly,
and now I just wanted him to go to sleep for a few minutes of bliss?
Thoughts from a perfect mother, hmph!
What's perfect about that? 

I never realized that this job, 
this job I love more than any other I have ever had the privilege of possessing, 
would be so difficult. 
That I would fail far more often than I succeed. 
That each day would have different trials. 
That when I finally figured something out, or mastered a schedule, it would inevitably change. 

Fortunately, God's promise of new mercies every morning is true.
I got to tackle being Baker's Mom again today.
And I pray I get to tackle this mom thing again tomorrow.

It's a wonderfully exhausting job, 
one that I am far from perfect at,
but one that I am eternally grateful to have.

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