A Gift

I started writing this post as a journal entry.
An outpouring of my heart.
A confession of my weaknesses.
An attempt to seek prayer and encouragement.
Then, it evolved into something else.

Instead of letting this be about me,
I hope to make this about something greater, about children.
A gift.
If you are a parent, or plan to become a parent,
I hope to provide you with a glimpse of hope and encouragement.

If you are new to this blog,
my son Baker, who is now eight months old,
 was born almost four weeks early with Down Syndrome.
You can read his birth story here.

But don't stop there, read through other posts.
Read about his first time eating green beans,
and giggling,
and rolling over.
Read about the way my heart has grown since becoming his mommy.
Read about the challenges, the emotions, the joys.
Read and learn and share in our gift.

Today is Sanctity of Life Sunday.

A day to honor life.
All lives.
But for me, it is a day to honor my Baker.
A gift.
I hope today, or this time next year,
or the year after, it will be a day of honoring your gift, too.

Did you know that the experts are predicting that in a matter of years,
Down Syndrome will be extinct?

Not because scientists have found a cure.
No, because medical technology is so advanced that doctors are detecting it earlier and earlier and an increasing number of families are making the decision to abort babies with a chance of being born with this disability.

The New York Post reports, ninety-two percent of pregnancies receiving the diagnosis of Down Syndrome end in abortion.

Many statistics I can brush off as just a statistic,
but this one,
this one breaks my heart in so many pieces.

I think back to that day when we learned of the heightened chance
of Baker being born with Downs,
I think back to that day in the genetic counselor's office
where we were encouraged to abort Baker.
They were insistent on doing an amniocentesis on that date
because any later would be too late.
I think about the feeling of Brian's hand in mine.
I think about the feeling of warm tears streaming down my cheeks.
I think about the rough fiber of carpet digging in my knees
as I called on the face of God.
I think about lying on that ultrasound table and
hearing the pride in Brian's voice when the doctor
confidently announced a baby boy.
I think about the feeling of walking out of that office,
without an amniocentesis and very much with a baby.
I think about that cool December air and Brian
uttering "Baker" in barely a whisper just to see how it felt.

I think about the peace,
the perfect peace,
that let me know God is bigger than a disability,
and He is and would always be in control.

Today, my heart is torn.
I am hopeful that my story, along with many others out there,
 will provide encouragement that having a baby,
even especially a baby with a disability brings joy at the utmost,
unspeakable joy.

That, yes, there are trials, and there are struggles,
and there are financial burdens, and time constraints.
But even more, there are celebrations, and woo-hoos, and
smiles, and love, and answered prayers.
And gifts.
Oh, the gifts.

I pray for mothers and fathers today.
I pray they will recognize the sanctity of life, all life,
and will trust in the Lord with their children,
a most precious gift.
To provide for them and meet their needs.

Jehovah Jireh, my provider.
He can be yours, too.

These are verses I have written on my hand,
scribbled on Post-its galore,
etched on the walls of my heart.

They are strength in my weakness.
They can be yours, too.
 

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts....
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."
Isaiah 55: 9, 11

"As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth.
'Rabbi," his disciples asked him,
Why was this man born blind?
Was it because of his own sins or his parents' sins?'
'It was not because of his sins or his parents' sins,' Jesus answered.
'This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.'
John 9: 1-4

"My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness..."
2 Corinthians 12: 9

"Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God;
and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7

"Now to Him, who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine,
according to the power that works within us."
Ephesians 3:20