Our Dream Come True

Monday, August 10, 2015

New Adventures - Glasses Wearing and Friends Fellowshipping

Last week, Baker and I moseyed up to Birmingham for a day of doctors.

The boys' BeBe stayed home with Barrett, so it was a day full of memories to be made for just me and my big boy!

And just when I thought my Baker Boy couldn't get any cuter, this happened.

I'll share more on our new adventure in glasses wearing in a few lines.

We stopped at Urban Cookhouse to meet some dear friends for lunch.

Praise all things good and holy for a kid-friendly place that doesn't make moms lose their religion.

Hashtag playplaces give me the willies.

Sally was one of the first to reach out to me after Baker was born. Her adorable boy, Walker, was born just two months before Baker and I have loved her (and her more precious than precious little boy) from the start of this joy-filled journey.

Baker and Walker acted like lifelong friends.

At some points, Sally and I attempted adult conversation.

IEPs. Fears. Dreams. Development. Therapists. School.

All were topics worthy of our words.

Other times, our language was lulled and our speech was silenced by the mesmerizing sight of these

two boys.

Our boys.

Our hearts.

The ones we pray for and cry over.

Wish wishes and dream dreams.

They were doing it, right there in our midst.

Living out answered prayers.

When Baker plays with typical children, there is a certain expectation.

Expectations involving play, language, personal space, among others.

I wrote a post about this a few weeks ago called The Talk that The Mighty published and the National Down Syndrome Network featured.

You can read it here.

With Baker and Walker, there were no expectations.

There was just acceptance.

Whole hearted, unabbreviated, need nothing in return, acceptance.

There was little verbal talk, except in a language all their own,

a lot of laughs from two silly boys,

an equal love for macaroni and cheese,

and more hugs than can be squeezed into one day.

Could it be that these two big boys were once these two water-loving little babies?

Time, you are a cruel and wonderful thing.

After a scrumptious lunch date and promises to fellowship again soon,

we headed to Baker's ophthalmologist.

What a gem of a woman and an answer to this worrying mama's prayers.

He has been seen since shortly after his first birthday for farsightedness and astigmatism;

however, nothing was serious enough to warrant glasses or corrective surgery.

We knew there was a strong possibility glasses were in our near future, and

a school eye exam earlier in the year hinted that his eye sight was worsening.

We went through all of the steps.

Dilating and drops and lights and lenses.

And lots of stickers and attaboys.

So. Many. Choices.

In the end, we walked away with a prescription for some suave spectacles,

and a little dude feeling more dapper than ever.

Doing life with this sweet boy is my favorite way to do life.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Giving Children a Choice (even when it's not the choice you'd choose)

Some things are non-negotiable.

There is no bargaining or bribery allowed.

You eat what's on the table.

You do not run out in the street.

You don't hit or pick up Little Bear

(Barrett is Baker's new baby brother, known around here as Little Bear, and Baker thinks every grunt or whimper is an excuse to hold him. Wrong my sweet child. Very, very no.).

But for all the others, we give a choice.

This shirt, or that shirt?

Mickey Mouse or Curious George?

Love You Forever for the millionth time or this wonderfully exciting new book?

A bath or a shower?

Swing or slide?

Oreo or Chocolate Chip?

Five minutes on the iPad or five minutes on mommy's phone?

Make your bed first or brush your teeth first?

A little trim or a funky new 'do?

After a few minutes browsing together on Pinterest, Baker made his choice.

It may not have been what I would have chosen.

How was I to know that a few minutes in the salon chair and a few snips from Mrs. Brittney's sharpest would age my toddler years and years?

With every mirror we passed, he checked his hair

(or begged to be lifted to check it out once again),

and gave this adorable little wink at himself.

Every morning, he waits for the routine to sit on the counter and helps me style it just right.

He is so proud of his new look.

He is so very proud of his choice.

And I'm pretty smitten with this handsome boy of mine who is growing in confidence with every choice he makes.

Well, almost every choice.

I have to pull the Mom card on some choices!

Controlled choices for children is key.
This one or that one.
Or which of these three?
Or which one first - knowing all the while every single tooth will be brushed
and every blasted truck tucked into the toy garage.

Even I am overwhelmed on the paint aisle at Lowes.

Forty-seven different variations of gray?

No thank you.

And don't even get me started on those Coke Freestyle machines.

Making choices is empowering.

It is confidence building.

Independence instilling.

It's toughest on mamas, when our children don't need us for everything.

But is so worth it when they proudly make a good choice,
or learn a lesson from a less than desirable one.

White eyeliner or butterfly clips, anyone?

What choices do you give your children, and at what age?

How have they responded?

Monday, August 3, 2015

Brown Sugar Kale Chips (a post about cooking with children and a tasty recipe)

One of my favorite things to do with my big boy while Little Brother is asleep is to play in the kitchen.

Baker is wild and active.

He embraces all things three.

And he embraces all things boy.

We can be found on any given day making and baking and stirring things up in the kitchen!

Involving children in the kitchen is mutually beneficial. You get an extra set of hands, and your child learns the importance of proper nutrition, how to follow directions, measure, listen to instructions, tell time, and to increase their fine motor skills, among so many others.

Baker's favorite things to whip up are pancakes, brownies, and banana faux fro-yo.

My all boy boy prefers anything that requires the use of a mixer, blender, or food processor.

He loves power, and machines (errr, small appliances), and noise!

More recently, we've expanded our menu to include foods for all times of the day.

Baker has a slight aversion to things with different textures (as do many children with Down Syndrome), but we continue to encourage him to try new things.

He is a great eater and rarely refuses any food.

His newest love, brown sugar kale chips.

Three year olds who request kale chips, who knew??

Here's what you need to make our favorite afternoon snack:

4 cups fresh kale
2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 tsp garlic salt
1/4 cup of loosely packed light brown sugar

To make, combine first three ingredients in a large mixing bowl or plastic bag. Toss or shake lightly to ensure all leaves are coated with olive oil and garlic salt.

In our kitchen, we alternate between a zip-close gallon size plastic bag and a mixing bowl with tongs. Both promote the use of fine motor skills, which is especially important for Baker. He loves sliding the zipper to open and close the bag and shaking it all around. He also benefits greatly from manipulating tongs. Especially during the summer, when his therapies decrease, we try to make our time together meaningful - both fun and intentional.

Here's how to cook:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees
Arrange kale chips in a single layer on a lightly greased baking sheet
Cook for 12-15 minutes (or until the edges begin to brown slightly)
Remove from oven and sprinkle with brown sugar

The sugar will melt and adhere to the chips giving them a wonderfully delicious flavor that appeals to both your salty and sweet cravings.

PS - they're healthy

PPS - and totally toddler approved

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Barrett's Birth Announcement

We have mad love around here for Tiny Prints.

They did Baker's birth announcement a few years ago and have done our

family's Christmas cards for several years.

Their templates are beautiful, and often allow for customization (which I love big time)!

I (very temporarily) considered not mailing birth announcements.

I know, all the gasps!

With social media, email, texts, and our family's blog,

Barrett's picture was sent out within hours of his birth.

But even with technology being so readily available, I couldn't resist.

Consider me old fashioned, but I am partial to snail mail.

One of my favorite things to do is sit down with my favorite pens,
a fresh book of stamps, my beloved address book,
personalized stationery (or in this case, paper boasting the most beautiful pictures),
a piping hot cup of coffee, and carefully script letters for my nearest and dearest.

Each announcement was pored over.
Prayed over.
I took great pleasure in addressing each envelope.

As I dotted i's and crossed t's, I considered each family and the role they have played in ours.

How grateful I am for this village.

I love the idea, that this week, across the street and across the states,

people are opening their mailboxes to our sweet boys' faces,
thinking prayerful thoughts for our family
and wishing us the sweetest wishes as a new family of four.

front

back

Yes, I quite love this.

And just for kicks, Baker's birth announcement, mailed out exactly 3 years ago today.

Monday, July 20, 2015

The Talk (not that talk, the special needs talk)

This summer is the first summer Baker has been three.

(Photo creds: Katie Thompson Photograpy)

Silliest of statements, I know.
Of course this summer is the first summer Baker has been three.
Hear me out.

Three year olds get to play with the big kids.
Three year olds are no longer considered babies and given the grace babies are given.

Babies are allowed to sit quietly.
Babies are allowed to keep to themselves.
Babies are allowed to play in their own safe area.

There are no expectations surrounding play with babies,
except that babies will be babies.
Babies do what babies do.

Last summer, and the summer before, and the summer before that, Baker was a baby.

This summer is the first summer Baker has been three.
This summer is the first summer Baker has gotten to play with the big kids.
This summer is the first summer Baker's play has been laden with expectations of looking and sounding a certain way.
This summer is the first summer Baker has been noticed as different.

Before, Baker could sit on the sidelines.
Before, Baker could bounce on my lap and giggle and coo to everyone's delight.
Before, Baker was a baby.
Before, it was okay that Baker could not talk, could not run as quickly, could not jump as high.

Before, none of the other kids saw Baker any differently than they saw their baby sister or little cousin. He was a baby (and a darn cute one). He did what babies did. Because of his different abilities, some of it came at a slower rate, and took much greater effort. His hypotonia caused his chubby little legs to frog out when he slept and his little body to collapse into mine winning him all the awards for world's greatest snuggler. He was a baby, and everybody loves a baby. Especially Baby Baker.

This summer is the first summer Baker has been three.
And because of that, this is the first summer our little sphere has been expanded.
And because of that, two things have happened to this momma's heart.

It has experienced both unspeakable joy and unspeakable ache.

My heart has threatened to overflow watching Baker create new friendships.
I have been so encouraged as I have listened to other mommas enlighten and empower their children with knowledge about Down Syndrome as questions have presented themselves about why Baker's play and talk differ from their own. I have loved watching the innocence of children, as they love with their whole heart, without judgment and with unhindered acceptance.

My heart has also threaten to shatter into pieces as I see other children notice Baker's different abilities. "Is he special ed?" one asked innocently. Others can't understand his fascination with perfectly folding all of our beach towels instead of bounding down the slide like all the other children. Why, when their conversations flowed as easily as lemonade on a summer day, did Baker prefer silence? Why, when he does speak, does he often do so first with his hands and then with words that sound so differently than our own? Why does he often drift to the perimeter when all of the action is in the center?

Why is he different than me?

Could you answer that question?

Little more than three years ago, I would have stuttered through it,
preferring to brush it under the doormat, or
opting to combat it with the eye that commanded silence
instead of opening doors to a conversation of acceptance.

As the mom of a seriously great kid, who happens to have unique needs, I beg you to have the talk.
The talk about alikes and differences, and how often we're more alike than different.

If you need a name, use Baker. If you need a face, I think his is pretty perfect. If you need words, use a picture book (spoken like a true teacher, ha!). I love "We'll Paint the Octopus Red."

Your children won't mind if the words aren't perfect or eloquent or include textbook terminology. They can be simple and succinct and from the heart.
From the bottom of mine, thank you.

More than you know, thank you.

You might also like:

What if we have two children with Down Syndrome?
I never knew I wanted a child with Down Syndrome until I had one
A missed opportunity

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Barrett is Two Months Old!

My sweet boy,

Our love for you grows with each quickly passing day. Somehow we blinked and you are two months old!

We are still learning life with two and you are quick to give grace when our arms are too few or our energy runs dry.

You are becoming more and more alert and love taking in this wild world around you. Your gaze is always fixed on Baker. Maybe because he is the most animated and entertaining little thing, or maybe it's because you know he's coming after your sweet, sweet sugar. He loves you to the moon and back and kisses you no fewer than 107 times per day. You scored big time with Baker as your big brother!

I am sometimes tempted to hook my pedometer to you just to track your kicks. If they translated to steps, I am confident you could travel to Disney World and back each day. You are a busy little bear.

You make the most adorable little sounds. Your sleepy pur, your noisy hiccups, your contented little sigh, even your boisterous screams are music to our ears as we love filling our home with all things you.

You still love to eat, and keep this momma on a tight schedule. Nursing you is such a blessing and has bonded us in the most incredible way. You like to eat every 2 to 2 1/2 hours during the day, and sometimes go 3-4 hour stretch during the night. Not even sleep can deter you from eating!

You like to be a part of everything, and you love being held. You spend a lot of time in your baby carrier and are happy as can be snuggled close to mine or your daddy's chest.