Baker and Down Syndrome and where we are now

 I am so excited to write this post!

 

And for a couple of reasons.

One, it coincides with Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

And I think, by talking about Down Syndrome, and sharing about our Baker Boy, we are making a very small difference on the way people view and approach it.

Two, it celebrates the many accomplishments of my precious Baker

and evidences the faithfulness of my sweet Jesus.

 

 

I apologize in advance for the length.

It combines several posts into one.

Mostly because I'm just awesome like that.

Kidding!

Very much kidding!

 

If you are a fellow parent of a child with Down Syndrome,

read this while keeping only Baker in mind.

It is very normal (a word I typically refrain from using) for children with Down Syndrome,

because of all sorts of factors,

to be in varying places in all phases of their development.

 

Your child is unique.

Baker is unique.

Something I learned from the very beginning was to STOP COMPARING.

To typical children.

To what "the experts say."

To what is written in books.

To other children with Down Syndrome.

 

Comparing will steal your joy.

It hurts.

It causes worry and anxiety.

 

Celebrate your child and where he or she is right this very single minute.

That's what this post is - a celebration!

 

On the Go

 

Baker has the most wonderful Physical Therapist at RISE. Her name is Ms. Angela, but we may as well just leave off the -a, because an angel she is!

 

A few weeks ago, I presented a concern. Baker had the tendency for his feet to pronate inward when he would stand. I was worried that this would inhibit his walking.

She had noticed it also. In true RISE/wonderfully proactive/we think they are the best thing since string cheese form, she fitted him for itty bitty orthotics (shoe inserts) that help alleviate, and hopefully will correct the issue.

 

I sent off the form, and wham bam, like the magic shows show, with an abra cadabra, ala kazaam, the orthotics were here! Our angel PT also fitted Baker for the most precious little New Balances. These are especially great because they come in wide sizes, which allow for his inserts, and they also have a roll bar, which is ideal for children with weak ankles (which, for Baker, is a result of his low muscle tone).

 

 

They're so tasty, too!

 

 

 

Baker is cruising and tracking around furniture. He is doing a lot of crawling. He has finally transitioned from army crawling to traditional crawling and bear crawling. And let me tell you, Little Man can go!

 

He pulls up on everything. And I mean everything!

 

Don't look too closely at yours truly. He has surely added some wrinkles to what used to be a glowing youthful appearance and I keep waiting for the gray hairs. He is always on the go - climbing and moving about. And quite frankly, life was much less eventful, and a little easier before this transition to mobility. Not that I am complaining. Not even a little bit. I love every single hair raising, bejeesus scaring, wrinkle adding, on the go, exhaustingly blissful minute.

 

We are working diligently, very purposefully, alongside his teachers and therapists to promote walking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Talking and Signing

 

Baker speaks Bakerese, and quite fluently. In English, he says a few words.

 

He still uses "Mama" and "Mum" more often than any other.

He says "Bye Bye" on command.

He knows the cow says "Moo." Although, when asked, Baker says, "Boooooooo" without ever really opening his lips, just pursing them out far enough to emit sound. This is one of the things I hope he never changes. It is the cutest little Baker trait.

 

RISE has been a integral part of incorporating sign language into our vocabulary.

 

Each week, in the weekly newsletter, there are words for the week and the signs to accompany them. Talk about helping a mama out!

 

Baker uses them more often than spoken language and many a meltdown are prevented with simple signs.

 

He uses eat, drink, milk, water, more, all finished, bath, cow, horse, daddy, school, friend, love, dog, table, hi, bye, kiss, help, wash hands, fish, please, and friend.

 

Eat

 

 

 

Table

 

 

 

Love

 

 

Drink Water

 

 

We have found several picture books and reference books to help with incorporating sign language into our daily language.

 

Also, I use Google a lot. There are also videos on You Tube. "Signing Time with Alex and Leah" makes frequent appearances on the iPad.

 

School

 

Picture the pearly gates. White and glorious, euphoric and magical. And now, you can envision The RISE School.

 

It is a dream environment.

 

Baker has four teachers. But everyone there invests in every child there. That is obvious every single day. And something, as a mother and an educator, that I absolutely love. It truly takes a village.

 

All of Baker's therapies occur within the day at RISE. Each day, the Music and Speech Therapists visit his classroom. Somehow, someway, they corral all seventeen one year olds into a circle, onto stools, for this time. It is nothing short of amazing. Also during the day is playtime in the commons (an indoor play place that is most certainly a child's dream with foam blocks, trampolines, and riding toys). This is where all of his physical therapy occurs. Lastly, they have naptime. On little kid nap mats. Again, how they get all of those one year olds to stay put on nap mats is way beyond me!

 

They have weekly units, complete with letters of the week, themes, book they are reading, songs they are singing, and signs to accompany their vocabulary words.

 

I love the books they make to accompany each unit. 

 

 

 

Here are some evidences of his work. To some, these are refrigerator art. But I know, each activity serves a purpose. Holding a crayon, feeling a feather and then a sponge, cutting and pasting, sorting, identifying - each promotes motor development. Each creates a foundation which will be built upon for years to come. Each makes him more knowledgeable. Each makes him more aware of the world in which he lives. Each is treasured. Each is a gift to serve as a daily reminder of Baker's progress, of Baker's potential, of the blessing of these teachers investing in his life.

 

 

 

I get teary thinking about the path that brought us here. And how fortunate we are for these men and women whose passion is serving children. Good, good stuff.

 

Eating

 

Let's just say he is his mother's child. And by that, I mean, the boy enjoys food.

 

Some of Baker's favorites - apple cinnamon oatmeal, Eggo waffles, Goldfish, Cheerios, Cheetos (as of yesterday), grilled cheese sandwiches, cheese sticks (I'm noticing a pattern - CHEESE EVERYTHING), spaghettios, ravioli, macaroni and cheese, yogurt, applesauce, rice, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, green beans, among others.

 

We still haven't introduced peanut butter. I keep thinking we will. And then the thought - if Baker were allergic, is now a good time for him to go into anaphylactic shock? Is now a good time to go to the hospital? And the answer is always a resounding NO! So, I wait. And if that is the thought that continues, I guess I will continue to wait.

 

At RISE, they are big on instilling independence. Eating is not excluded. Baker is now holding his cup on his own, and is trying is hardest to use utensils. This makes mealtimes a time when I enter into an attitude of worship. Be near, oh God, please, please, please be very near. He, bless his baby heart, has gotten his mother's perfectionist tendencies and gets incredibly frustrated when he cannot do it just right. When his body will not perform his mind's commands.

 

I am sure there is more to tell. There always is. For now, that's enough.

 

This is where we are.

 

We are blessed to be here.

 

I could write all day, everyday about Baker. I could write about his progress. I could write about his smile. I could write about his nonsensical babble that, to us, makes perfect sense. I could write about his tight squeezes and open mouth kisses. I could write about the incredible privilege of rocking my baby to sleep every night. I could write about how being his mother is one of my life's greatest joys.

 

Instead, I soak it all in. I savor each day. I reflect, and I am thankful.

 

Do I get discouraged? Do I worry?

 

Absolutely.

 

But, this morning's Jesus Calling spoke right to that. Funny how that happens.

 

"Anxiety is a result of envisioning the future without Me. So the best defense against worry is staying in communication with Me. When you turn your thoughts toward Me, you can think much more positively. Remember to list, as well as to speak, making your thoughts a dialogue with Me."

 

Then, the author provides two rules for considering future events. One, "Do not linger in the future, because anxieties sprout up like mushrooms when you wander there. Two, "Remember the promise of My continual Presence; include Me in any imagery that comes to mind..."

 

Instead of living in a world of worry, a future world full of uncertainties, we live in the now. Trusting His with Baker's future.

 

We celebrate today. The present. It is a most precious gift.

 

Jesus Calling - In the Stillness

My To Do List is one of my most prized possessions.
Although, I rarely accomplish in a single day what I set out to accomplish.

I always seem to drag one, or two, or three items to the next day, willing more time, more energy, more hands, more ears, more eyes to get them done.

Important tasks get pushed to the backburner.

I neglect things.

I fail to adhere to a weekly cleaning schedule, workout schedule, fill in the blank schedule.

I am a hot mess.

Some days I celebrate cooked meals (and I use the term cooked very loosely), other days my backseat is littered with bags tattling of a day spent running this way and that, stopping only to refuel.
There is dirty laundry on the floor and dishes in the sink.
Between school and work and appointments and play dates, we are always on the go.
 

 To be quite honest, I love it this way.

I like crazy, the hustle and bustle of busy days.

I like going, doing, accomplishing.

Being around people.

Checking things off.

Being independent, a go-getter, a doer.

Living big. Living busy.

What I struggle with, is sitting down all by myself and being quiet. 

When I crash, I crash hard.

I go, and go, and go until I stop.

Until I have nothing left to give and exhaustion overtakes my body.

 

 I often do good things.

Things that would please the Lord.

Things I dub “His handiwork.”

Things he has gifted me to do.

So, imagine my confusion when I read today’s Jesus Calling.

Receive my peace. It is my continual gift to you. The best way to receive this gift is to sit quietly in my presence, trusting me in every area of your life. Quietness and trust accomplish far more than you can imagine: not only in you, but also in heaven and earth.

When you trust Me in a given area, you release that problem or person into my care.

Spending time alone with Me can be a difficult discipline, because it goes against the activity addiction of this age. You may appear to be doing nothing, but actually you are participating in battles going on in the spiritual realms. You are waging war – not with the weapons of the world, but with heavenly weapons, which have divine power to demolish strongholds. Living close to Me is a sure defense against evil.

'"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
 

"This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says, 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.'" Isaiah 30:15

 

Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I am an addict.

An activity addict.

Lord Jesus, create in me a clean heart.

One that thirsts for you,

for stillness in your presence,

for peace and quiet to commune with you.

Draw near to me, delight yourself with my praise.
Inhabit my thoughts, my time.

 In You, I rejoice.

In You alone.

Five on Friday

 

I am joining the Five on Friday party!

 I have loved reading these posts that range from pictures of the week, to favorite recipes, to powerful blogs or articles.

Maybe next time, there will be a central thought or idea to my post, but this totally random approach is what I'm loving today!
 

It is Friday, after all!

One. an article.

"God Only Gives Special Needs Children to Special People."

If had a dollar for everytime someone told me that, well, I could pay Bill Gates' mortgage this month. Wait, I doubt Bill Gates even has a mortgage. But, you know what I mean.

It doesn't bother me when people say it, in fact quite the opposite is true. I do feel like I was chosen specially. But, I was also chosen specially to be Brian's bride. I was chosen to be a teacher and a friend and a daughter and a sister. God chose this life especially for me. And that is what makes me special - that I was chosen to walk this path, lead this life, be touched by so many, and have the opportunity to glorify God with each beautiful step.

I loved this post about how God is magnified through the blessing of a child with a disability. With each word, I nodded. Once so emphatically, I banged my head on the headboard and am still seeing stars. Oh, how I love the blogging community to connect with and be ministered to by others.

Two. two special visits.

Summertime means time to catch up with family and friends that sometimes get pushed aside in the hustle and bustle of everyday.

We had two this week. The first was with my Nana. I love Baker getting to meet the people I love the most. She is so special to my family. She is reason my mom decided her grandmother name would also be Nana.

Next, we got to visit the Smalley family. This family is about as close to my own without sharing my last name. I started babysitting for them in January 2004. Two of their five children, Jack and Sarah Kate, were in our wedding and some of my favorite memories involve these precious kiddos, and their parents, too.

Circa 2005. That grin!

 

Somehow, I blinked, and now she's old enough to play with my baby.

 

 

Such a fun day!

 

Three. lovely reads.

 

I did a favorite books post a while back. Baker is finally getting to the age where he picks his favorite books. Right now it's, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. We read it multiple times each day and he even predicts the next part and has his hands ready for the motions the uber-cheesy elementary teacher in me assigned to each page. I love this! 

 

I find that throughout the day, and night, too, the words from the books we've read throughout the day creep up on me. I find myself sing-songing catchy choruses as I clean out the dishwasher, and reciting rhymes as I wait to check out in long grocery store lines.

 

Last night, as I checked on Baker one last time before I went to sleep. These words danced in my mind.

  

"But at night time, when he was asleep,

the mother quietly opened the door to his room,

crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed.

If he was really asleep,

she picked up that [fourteen month old]

and rocked him back and forth and back and forth.

And as she rocked him, she sang,

I love you forever,

I like you for always,

as long as I'm living,

my baby you'll be.

 

I will surely love you forever, my precious angel.

 

Four. good stuff.

 

 Jesus Calling is such a wonderful devotional. It's amazing how the Lord speaks just the right words at just the right time my heart needs to hear them.

 

Some of my favorites from this week:

 

"Come to me continually,

I am meant to be the Center of your consciousness,

the Anchor of your soul."

 

"Worship me in the beauty of holiness."



 

"Whenever you start to feel fearful or anxious,

repeat this unconditional promise:

Nothing can separate you me from Your Love, Jesus."

 

And my two favorites.

 

"Be assured that I never abandon any of My children, not even temporarily."

 

"I have engraved you on the palms of My hands."



 

Five. please don't go, summer girl.

 

As much as I am loving Summer, I am getting excited about Fall!

 

tailgaiting and Alabama football (road to 16, anyone?),

 consignment sales and fun Fall appliques,

chili and yummy warm soups,

RISE and new back to school adventures for Baker and me,

cooler weather and warm scarves,

leaves crunching and heat blowing and fire crackling.

 

It makes me want to grab a quilt, throw it over my two favorite boys, and watch the stars dance in the cool night sky.

Except for, we'd likely die of humidity and heat exhaustion.

Oh, at least it's fun to dream!

 

And I'd much rather savor these last few days of Summer...

Please stick around forever.

 

 

 

Happy Friday, friends!

Humbly Grateful - Part Two

Our pastor challenged us to start each day giving thanks.

I began the challenge here.
If you haven't read Part One, start there.

Pretty please with sugar on top!

 

Brian and I have very busy days.
Wonderful days, but very busy days.

One thing we try to do each night before going to sleep is to read Jesus Calling together, find the scriptures, meditate on them, and then pray together.

I loved the devotion on July 5, and think it speaks perfectly to this attitude of giving thanks.

"Draw near to me with a thankful heart, aware that your cup is overflowing with blessings. Gratitude enables you to perceive Me more clearly and to rejoice in our Love relationship. Nothing can separate you from My loving Presence! That is the basis of your security. Whenever you start to feel anxious, remind yourself that your security rests in Me alone, and I am totally trustworthy..."

I had a lot of time to meditate on this throughout the night last night. And found that I am thankful even for wakeful nights with little rest. Time to spend with Jesus. Time to savor with my little one. Just time. Something I often forsake in the hustle of everyday.

On this Tuesday, I am especially thankful.

1. Church family. From my small group Bible Study and Bunco group, to my pastors and worship leaders, to the brothers and sisters in Christ that join throughout the week to praise our Savior. This group epitomizes the Bible's calling for Christians to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We pray together, serve together, love together, laugh together, hurt together. Thank you Jesus for this precious family.

2. Down Syndrome. Eighteen months ago, there were no two words that scared me more. I feared the unknown. What would this mean for our family? For our dreams? For our hopes for the future? And then, with Baker's diagnosis, the fears and worries began to fade, as God once again evidenced His faithfulness and His plan for our lives. I am thankful for Down Syndrome. I am thankful for the friends that we gain through this journey. I am thankful that I get to see prayers answered every single day. I am thankful for the Lord opening my eyes to His ways and His truths and His path for Baker, for our family. God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good. Can I get an AMEN?

3. Transitions. Oh how scary transitions are. We are smack dab, ankle knee hip shoulder deep in a transition, and have never been more unsettled or uncomfortable. But, I find it amazing, that sometimes in the most unsettling and uncomfortable situations are when God provides the most comfort. I am thankful that God pulls us out of our comfort zones, and provides a new stability - in Him. I have also found, when God provides the opportunity for a transition, He orchestrates the path, guides every step, holds our hands, and carries us throughout.

4. Summertime. This time of year is so sweet. Laughter of children echoes throughout the neighborhood late into the night, crickets chirping, fireflies darting this way and that trying to avoid the fate of the Mason jar, watermelons, afternoon thunderstorms, blueberries straight off the bush, squash that travels from the yard to the table, freckles, tan lines, lemonade and sweet tea, lazy days off celebrating family, the smell of fresh cut grass. I am thankful for this beautiful season where God makes all things new.

It's amazing how this attitude of thankfulness trickles about, permeating my thoughts. Interrupting negativity. Ceasing bitterness. I kinda like it.

What are you thankful for today?

A person who has blessed your life?

A season?

A difficulty God has used for His glory and your growth?

 

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving

and His courts with praise;

give thanks to Him and praise His name.

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;

His faithfulness continues through all generations."

Psalms 100:4-5

Jesus Calling - Worry, Worry, Worry



I love Kevin Henkes.

You have likely heard of his bestseller, Chrysanthemum.

He writes children's books and is very good at what he does.

 

Each of his books has a central theme that is great for incorporating into daily lessons with children.

 

Of his characters, I wish I could say I identify most with Chrysanthemum or Lilly, or even Penny, but unfortunately, it's Wemberly.

 

If you aren't familiar with Wemberly, she stars in the book,

Wemberly Worried.

And the repetitive line appearing throughout the book,

"worry, worry, worry, too much worry"

is me.

 

Admittedly, ashamedly, me.

 

In most things, but especially with Baker, I worry.

 

Worry that I am not being the mother he needs,

or what the future will hold,

or that he is suffering because I am a working mom,

if it's not this, it's that.

But I have one worry that overshadows the rest.

 

I have this fear.

A huge fear.

Like an all-consuming fear that overtakes my whole body.
 

It hurts.

It wakes me up in the middle of night.

It draws tears, sometimes incessant tears.

It brings me to my knees.

Worry, worry, worry, too much worry.

My sweet Baker Boy is healthy.

I know that.

He's had blood work, and ultrasounds, and brain scans, and heart checks.

His therapists do surveys and evaluations and analyses.

All reports confirm his health.

This gives me tremendous peace.

But then I read a statistic, or I remember something I once heard, or someone else shares their story.

Children with Downs are more likely to have leukemia, and cardiology problems, and severe thyroid issues, and this, and that.
The list goes on and on and on.

And the fear spreads.

What if?

What if the doctors are missing something.

Worry, worry, worry, too much worry.

Because of these trends, I dread simple doctors visits.

What if this finger prick reveals something terrible?

What if the doctor placing the cold metal of the stethoscope on his chest evidences a heart murmur?

Worry, worry, worry, too much worry.

The Lord did not create in us a spirit of fear, so I know it is not of Him.

I absolutely love Jesus Calling.
And my love for this devotional absolutely grew as the first few entries for February have spoken just to this fear.
 

I love how Jesus provides just the right words, from His Word, at just the right time.

Great is thy faithfulness.

"Look to The Lord and His strength; seek His face always."
Psalms 105:4

"The Lord bless you and keep you;

The Lord make His face shine upon you 

and be gracious to you;

The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace."

Numbers 6:24-6
 

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in time of trouble.
Therefore, we will not fear..."
Psalms 46:1-2

Worry, worry, worry, too much worry,
no more.

Tonight, I am praying for the mamas and babies whose finger pricks have revealed something devastating.
I feel honored to pray on their behalf.

Tonight, I am praying that God remove this fear in me, and allow me instead to celebrate the blessings of health and trust in Him and His plan for our future.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord.
'Plans to prosper you, not to harm you,
plans to give you a future and a hope.'"
Jeremiah 29:11

Tonight, I am thankful for a God who serves as Hope Giver, Peace Provider, Healer, Great Physician, Strength Supplier, Comfort.

Because, in sickness and in health,
in abilities and disabilities,
He is God.
And I will praise His name.

Jesus Calling

 

 

I am still struggling with the atrocities taking place in our world over the past several days. I am fearful, confused, broken.

 

As joyful as Christmas morning was at our house, I couldn't help but think about the mamas who had to shuffle presents under the tree, grabbing over or reaching around the ones imprinted with their child's name. Their child who is celebrating his or her first Christmas with their Heavenly Father.

 

As I complained about the mountains of laundry beckoning me, I thought about the mother who would celebrate the opportunity to see her daughter's pink wrinkled tee with the spaghetti stain evidencing last night's dinner tucked in the bottom of the hamper again. In my exasperation with all of the stuff cluttering our home, I couldn't help but think of how that boy's mother must long to stub her toe once again on his favorite dinosaur left lingering in the floor from playtime the night before. What a blessing. To have Baker's stuff crowding mine. To be able to wash tonight's dinner of sweet potatoes and bananas off of my baby's sweetly smocked shortall.

 

Lord Jesus, I pray that you comfort those mamas in a way that only you can. Hold them closely in your protective grip tonight. In this tragedy, be glorified.

 

The December 28 entry in Jesus Calling addressed the brokenness consuming my heart.

 

It reads,

 

"I am your refuge and strength, an ever-present Help in trouble. Therefore, you don't need to be afraid of anything - not even cataclysmic circumstances. The media are increasingly devoted to fear-inducing subject matter: terrorism, serial killers, environmental catastrophes. If you focus on such dangers and forget that I am your Refuge in all circumstances, you will become increasingly fearful. Every day I manifest My grace in countless places and situations, but the media take no notice. I shower not only blessings but outright miracles on your planet.

 

As you grow closer to Me, I open your eyes to see more and more of My presence all around you. Things that most people hardly notice, like shifting shades of sunlight, fill you with heart-bursting Joy. You have eyes that see and ears that hear, so proclaim My abiding Presence in the world."

 

How true.

 

When Baker returns to school, I pray that instead of being fearful of the uncertainties of the day ahead, that I rejoice over the sunrise that is so beautifully painted in the early morning sky illuminating the church steeple, that I celebrate the "Mama-Mum" ringing loudly in the backseat, that I pause to thank God for being a sovereign God and know He is still God in the moments of rejoicing and the moments of being utterly fearful, confused, broken.

 

I pray that I have eyes that see and ears that hear and a mouth that speaks the good news of Jesus Christ to a broken world in desperate need of a Savior.

 

The devotional is so aptly titled Jesus Calling.

But tonight, for me, it is Jesus Answering.

As He does so faithfully.

Jesus Calling

      I have heard of the book, Jesus Calling, before; but my interest in it was truly piqued when a friend posted the August 23 devotional on Instagram. 

 

 

It reads:

 

      "Entrust your loved one to Me; release them into My protective care.

They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands.

If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart,

you endanger that one--as well as yourself.

Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac.

I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son-worship.

Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father's

undisciplined emotions.

I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.

      When you release loved ones to Me,

you are free to cling to My hand.

As you entrust others into My care,

I am free to shower blessings on them.

My Presence will go with them wherever they go,

and I will give them rest.

This same Presence stays with you,

as you relax and place your trust in Me.

Watch to see what I will do."

 

Ouch.

 

      This entry hit me square between the eyes. It is that feeling when you're sitting in a sermon, nestled comfortably in the pew, with the familiar smell of the weathered church hymnal and sound of crisp pages turning as fellow worshippers dive into the Word. And while the sanctuary is teeming with churchgoers, you may as well be the sole attendant; for the message was written and preached for your ears only.

 

Jesus Calling, this devotional, was written for a large audience,

but this devotional was written for me.

 

      I have been guilty of giving myself hypothetical gold stars for being a "good" Christian, whatever that means. You know, one for going to church, another for reading the Word, a third for tithing. But I couldn't give a fourth. I claim that Jesus is Lord of my life. I don't put money, or power, fame, or other worldly possessions before Him. No, the one I put in front of Him is something He gave me. Something good. Something pure. Something so precious. I know this may sound strange, but the idol I put before my Savior is my baby boy.

 

      I was so convicted by this passage.  

 

I cling so tight to my little. He is a blessing, an answered prayer, a dream come true.

 

I  want to be the first one he sees when he awakens,

the first "I love you" he hears each day.

I want to see his first steps, hear his first words.

I want to catch him when he falls, and heal his hurts.

I want to be his mommy, his best friend,

his comfort, his protector, his everything.

 

I can try to be these things. I can try and I will fail.

Everyday.

Many, many times each day.

But this passage reminds me that there is One who loves Baker more than me.

One who doesn't fail, One who loves perfectly.

 

Oh, this is hard,
loosening my tightly clinging grip.

But here I am surrendering, boldly, as promised,

 entrusting God with my child, who was His first.