Monday, September 3, 2012

Jesus Calling

      I have heard of the book, Jesus Calling, before; but my interest in it was truly piqued when a friend posted the August 23 devotional on Instagram. 
 
 
It reads:
 
      "Entrust your loved one to Me; release them into My protective care.
They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands.
If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart,
you endanger that one--as well as yourself.
Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac.
I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son-worship.
Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father's
undisciplined emotions.
I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.

      When you release loved ones to Me,
you are free to cling to My hand.
As you entrust others into My care,
I am free to shower blessings on them.
My Presence will go with them wherever they go,
and I will give them rest.
This same Presence stays with you,
as you relax and place your trust in Me.
Watch to see what I will do."
 
Ouch.
 
      This entry hit me square between the eyes. It is that feeling when you're sitting in a sermon, nestled comfortably in the pew, with the familiar smell of the weathered church hymnal and sound of crisp pages turning as fellow worshippers dive into the Word. And while the sanctuary is teeming with churchgoers, you may as well be the sole attendant; for the message was written and preached for your ears only.
 
Jesus Calling, this devotional, was written for a large audience,
but this devotional was written for me.
 
      I have been guilty of giving myself hypothetical gold stars for being a "good" Christian, whatever that means. You know, one for going to church, another for reading the Word, a third for tithing. But I couldn't give a fourth. I claim that Jesus is Lord of my life. I don't put money, or power, fame, or other worldly possessions before Him. No, the one I put in front of Him is something He gave me. Something good. Something pure. Something so precious. I know this may sound strange, but the idol I put before my Savior is my baby boy.
 
      I was so convicted by this passage.  
 
I cling so tight to my little. He is a blessing, an answered prayer, a dream come true.
 
I  want to be the first one he sees when he awakens,
the first "I love you" he hears each day.
I want to see his first steps, hear his first words.
I want to catch him when he falls, and heal his hurts.
I want to be his mommy, his best friend,
his comfort, his protector, his everything.
 
I can try to be these things. I can try and I will fail.
Everyday.
Many, many times each day.
But this passage reminds me that there is One who loves Baker more than me.
One who doesn't fail, One who loves perfectly.
 
Oh, this is hard,
loosening my tightly clinging grip.
But here I am surrendering, boldly, as promised,
 entrusting God with my child, who was His first.
 
 


2 comments:

  1. Well, I've been a closet reader of your blog for quite some time now, but I'm going to have to just take the plunge and comment. Praying for you and your precious family each day, Jenn...love your honesty. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. It was actually your Instagram that inspired this post! Thank you for your encouragement and prayers for our little!

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