Friday, March 13, 2015

30 Weeks!


Thirty Weeks
#NotMuchLonger #SoMuchToDo #SecondBabyProbs #We'reInTheSingleDigitsNowFolks
 
 

What I’m Eating

My tastes really haven’t changed much. Navel oranges are still a mainstay in my diet, as is Chick-fil-A Diet Lemonade and their Original Iced Coffee. For a short bit, I wanted fish sticks and macaroni and cheese for supper every night and would be content to eat gummi bears and Sour Patch Kids for breakfast every morning. I am still crazy about purple Sweet Tarts and can’t sleep if there isn’t a bottle of Diet Tonic Water and a sliced lime in the fridge.
Pregnancy, it’s a crazy, wonderful thing.

Big Brother Baker

A few weeks ago, we decided to transition Baker’s crib to a toddler bed. He hadn’t attempted to escape. He was sleeping through the night. He slept in his bed, and we slept in ours. Life was good.
#WhatWereWeThinking #IfItAin’tBroke #Don’tFixIt

Now, he’s up between three and one hundred eleven times a night, tip-toeing across the house until he reaches our bed. “Mama, Dadda,” he whispers, as if we hadn’t heard the pitter patter of little feet dance against our hardwood floors.
Unfortunately, it’s become our little nightly game, until about four nights ago, when I hollered, “TIME OUT!” We put the crib back together, desperate for at least a few more weeks of sleep before the baby comes.

Crib together - check
Bath taken – check

Book read – check
Prayers whispered – check

Baby nestled all snug in his bed – check
Brian and I high fived each other on the way out the door, almost running to our bed, so ready for sleep we may or may not have neglected to brush the sugar monsters off our teeth or packed lunches for the next day.

#MyOCDFreakedItsFreak
Not so soon as the sheep were all counted, we heard it, “Mama, Dadda.”

“Let him sleep. He needs to self soothe,” Brian said through sleepy snores.
And then we heard the dreaded, familiar sound, the rhythmic dancing of his toddler feet on the cold floors. And he was there. At our bed. Out of his cage. Over the protective rail of his crib. Freed. Like magic.

We. Are. Doomed.
I guess it’s true what they say, “We’ll sleep when we die.”

#Yawn

Sleep
See above. I cannot summon the strength to speak of our sleep woes anymore.

Maternity Clothes
Yes. Yes. Yes.
#AsosForTheWin

If you don’t know about Asos, listen up! They have super cute stuff – maternity and non-maternity. And they have free shipping both ways.

#Winning

Size of Baby
The size of a cabbage. Although, judging by the size of my belly, it’s a blue-ribbon award winning cabbage that you present at the state fair, not throw in a steamer to serve alongside roast and potatoes.

#WhoaBelly

Baby’s Name
James Barrett

Gender
Boy!

What I Miss
Not feeling like I could open a ranch with all of these Charley Horses.
#HoldYourHorsesBarrettBell

Best Moment of the Week
It’s all good! It is all so very good!

 
“For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.”
Psalms 100:5

Friday, February 20, 2015

Twenty-Seven Weeks


 
Baker's belly, now and forevermore, will win all of the awards for all of the cutest bellies in all of the lands.
 
What I’m Eating

A whole lot of everything.

My indigestion is out of control, and since no food makes it any better or worse, I have been eating it all. And the scales at the doctor this week confirmed just that.
 
I’m just gonna throw it out there, having to weigh in and take a glucose test the week after Valentine’s is just not nice. A pregnant girl should be able to enjoy a few dark chocolate truffle hearts without worry of an increase in a few, okay a few more than a few, pounds. If Valentine’s Day isn’t for a pregnant lady so hopped on lovey dovey hormones, then who it is for anyhow?

Big Brother Baker

This week, the thought of loving another boy, and replacing Baker as my baby has weighed heavily. How, when my love for him permeates to all the corners of my heart, can there be room to love another? I know it happens. My heart will grow, and I will wonder how I ever entertained such a preposterous thought. But for today, the thought persists. And because of it, I will squeeze him a little tighter, rock him a little longer, and savor him occupying so many morsels of my mommy heart until Little Brother arrives.
 
William Baker Bell, I love you to the moon and back.
 

 
 

Sleep

Meh. Not awful, not great. Just meh.

Maternity Clothes

I am still making a lot of non-maternity tops and dresses work, but am strictly in maternity pants and leggings. A friend sent me a post on Pinterest this past week. It's titled, "How Not to Shop in the Maternity Department." It inspired me to be more creative with my wardrobe. I have resorted to a lot of billowy tops and other nonconforming things that don’t touch me. Anywhere.

I loved a lot of these looks. This week I even busted out of my belt-wearing discomfort zone. I got so many compliments, and I lot of “Whoa! You’re pregnant!” looks and comments too. Elementary students will say anything. I sorta crazy love that about them.   

I don’t know why I have strayed away from bump-baring outfits in favor of shirts so tent-like, Columbia could sell them with their camping gear. I love when women show off their pregnant bellies! Here's to making the last trimester more fun and fashionable!
 
Size of Baby

Big! I feel like I am about as big now at 27 weeks as I was when Baker was born at 36 weeks.

Little Brother is the size of an eggplant, about 13 ½ inches long, and weighs over 2 pounds.

Baby’s Name

James Barrett

Gender

BOY!

What I Miss

Nada. There is nothing I miss as much as I am loving every second of all of this.

Best Moment of the Week

On Thursday, I had my glucose test and PASSED!! The best part of the visit was getting to hear my sweet boy’s heartbeat. It is positively the most beautiful sound in all the world.

And, I’ve started doctor visits every two weeks! Cheers to that!
 
 

Friday, February 6, 2015

Twenty-Five Weeks

I'm back this week!

Today marks twenty-five weeks of being pregnant!
Twenty-five weeks seems so much farther along than twenty-four weeks.
I got a lot of "You're really pregnant!" comments this week.
Each one made me smile.
And giggle a little too.
I love how real this is getting!

I have been at a fabulous Leader in Me conference the past few days, but am oh so ready to get home to my boys!

 
 
 


I did get to spend some time FaceTiming this little nugget early this morning.
Technology is a glorious thing!

 


I must admit, I enjoyed the break from posting last week, but I especially loved reading Brian's take on this pregnancy. If you didn't have a chance to read last week's entry, do it now. You'll be glad you did.

My husband is pretty much the bomb dot com.


What I'm Eating

In the words of Jim Carrey on Dumb and Dumber, "A lot. A lot, a lot."

The "Very Hungry Caterpillar" is a memoir of my life at twenty-five weeks pregnant.

"On Monday, she ate through a large apple, but she was still hungry. On Tuesday, she ate through two teaspoonfuls of peanut butter, but she was still hungry. On Wednesday, she ate through three scoops of ice cream, but she was still hungry. Now she wasn't hungry anymore, and she wasn't a little preggers anymore. She was a big fat preggers."

Big Brother Baker

This boy is a trip!
We obviously do whatever it takes to get through rush hour traffic. Let's just say Brian is working diligently to replace this hand me down purse (Baker's "baaaag") with something camo and rugged.

If a picture like this doesn't let you know your child watches your every single move, I don't know what does.

 
 
What fun is eating Pringles if you don't do a couple of duck faces with daddy?
Dinner is much more fun when you play with your food!




Sleep

Ehhh. I go to bed exhausted and sleep well...until I don't.


Maternity Clothes

I am still stretching the limit on non-maternity shirts and dresses and will continue until it gets just plain necessary to switch to maternity shirts. They just seem so, I don't know, maternal.


Size of Baby

He's 13 1/2 inches and about one and a half pounds. For all of you healthy eaters, he's the size of a rutabaga, whatever that is.

I sorta love The Yummy Tummy's post. They list real food that real people eat to compare to the size of the baby. This week, our sweet JB is the size of two rolls of decadent cookie dough.



Now, that is my language! Also, I'm now craving Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies.


Baby's Name

James Barrett Bell

I think I fall in love with it a little more every time I utter it aloud.


Gender

He's a he!


What I Miss

I miss eating without getting acid reflux and indigestion. It's getting pretty intense at this point. Earlier in this pregnancy, it only happened at night, and with very acidic food. Now, it starts early in the morning and lasts through the night and shows itself with any foods or drinks.


Best Moment of the Week

I think I have graduated to being fully pregnant. I have reached both the itchy belly stage and the one where people recognize I am pregnant in my everyday clothes. I finally look pregnant, and not just like I drank too many Chick fil A milkshakes. It's more fun this way!

Plus, everybody is nicer to a pregnant lady!

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Twenty-Four Weeks (affectionately written by Brian)



What I'm Eating

Somehow Jenn finds a way to choke down this disgusting concoction of Apple Cider Vinegar, honey, and lemon every single morning. The smell alone runs me out of the bathroom, but she promises Pinterest boasts one hundred seventy-two thousand, four hundred fourteen reasons to be drinking the awful stuff.

She has started craving salads with cucumbers and avocados (no thanks), which amazes me, since anything green has had her turning green for the past 168 days.

Big Brother Baker

Baker is all about Baker.
"Hold me, Momma."
"Hold me, Dadda."

Barrett who?

He is soaking up these final weeks of being an only, and Jenn is more than eager to let him be her big baby.




Sleep

What was that again?

Maybe Bake is prepping us for life with an infant again. Whatever it is, the old, "I'll sleep when I'm dead" phrase has never been truer.

Especially now that some little rascal has commandeered her maternity pillow.



Maternity Clothes

I'm steering clear of this one. Unsafe territory here, folks.

Size of Baby

This week he is supposed to be as long as an ear of corn, but I think he's as big around as two or three. In my expert, baby growing opinion, he's going to be a hoss who never stops.

Baby's Name 

I'm calling him "J Bear," but Jenn insists that is not his name and refuses to monogram one of those girl gowns with it. Bake and I are in cahoots and we're calling majority here. J Bear it is.

Gender

He's still a he; but I have this nagging fear that all that wiggling  during his picture taking just might have us seeing things. James Barrett may be dressed in pink and renamed Elizabeth Barrett come May.

What I Miss

Anything missed is not worth having in place of this.
 
Best Moment of the Week -

How does she come up with one?

I got to take Baker to school this week. It's so great seeing him in his element and following his daily routine. However, I don't envy Jenn's task of doing this daily because leaving that kid to go to work is a different kind of tough.

Last night, Jenn and I got to watch Gone Girl on the couch together. Two things:  One, how incredibly bizarre that movie is. If you like a movie that leaves you saying "Huh?", this one is for you. And two, how does Jennifer get anything done all day. That boy is all go all the time, much like his big brother. Maybe they'll wear each other out...at least a dad can dream!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The Challenging Blessing of Down Syndrome


Some days Down Syndrome is tough.
 
Is that one of those things taboo to say?
Like you don't like doughnuts with sprinkles.
Or hot chocolate has too many marshmallows.  
 
Even on days you feel it in your heart, you never utter it aloud.

I have written this post at least half a dozen times in my head, but impressing the words onto the screen has not come easily.

Most days of this journey are incredible.
Each is joy-filled.
All are miracles sopped with His blessings so syrupy I am sticky from its sweetness.
Few are difficult.

The past week has been one of combination days, like my favorite Starbucks concoction. A little of this, with a dollop of that, swirled and frothed to perfection. But there has been something about the past few days to leave me longing, like the days when I forgo a grande sized goodness and regretfully choose the tall. When I finished this day, bedtime prayers were whispered, lullabies were hummed, Baker tucked tightly in his bed, my momma heart hurt and I uttered the words I almost never utter, “sometimes Down Syndrome is tough.”

On this day, I am wishing I could fight his fight.

For 32 months, I have watched Baker overcome.
He is an overcomer.

He has painstakingly endured countless hours of therapy to train his muscles to do the tasks and activities he beautifully boasts with the clumsy elegance of a toddler.

As of today, he has added sitting and standing, walking and running, eating and drinking, and putting on his socks and shoes to his resume as things he can do without assistance. And for that, my heart overflows.

Baker communicates through signs, through his gestures, through his body language so sweet.
I wouldn’t trade the way he shows his love to those he loves for all of the I love yous in all of the world.
I wouldn't, but he would.

He wants so badly to talk. Baker has been in speech therapy since he was 3 months old. He has fought for the day that words would come naturally. He learned a second language to compensate when the words wouldn’t form.

I wish I could fight this fight for him. As his mama, his biggest cheerleader, his number one encourager, I wish I could let this one thing come easily.

My husband so perfectly describes this as the “challenging blessing" of him having Down Syndrome.

And it is.
This journey has been a challenging blessing, with the blessings always outnumbering the challenges.

God's grace is amazing like that.

In retrospect, Baker doesn’t fight for everything. Some things come very naturally for him. There are things for which he doesn’t have to train, or go to a therapist, or work a day to accomplish. Some things he does with ease. Some things he does with an incredibly admirable grace.

Love
Laughter
Acceptance
Giving
Joy
Cuddling
Finding Favor
Generosity

Tolerance
Charm
Embracing
Gratefulness
Grace

Until the words come, we’ll give grace.
When I can’t give him the words to use, I’ll give him grace.

When he can’t make me understand his substitutions for words, I pray he’ll do the same.

We’ll give grace.

That’s part of the challenging blessing of raising a child with special needs.
 
Besides, there aren't words to convey happiness and joy like these dance moves!!
 
 
 
I was so encouraged by Kelle Hampton in a birthday post to her daughter Nella on her blog.
 
"It’s not that you can’t talk—you can. It’s that you understand one of the greatest secrets of the earth—that words aren’t as powerful as actions. You’ve learned to speak a dying language of deep emotion, and your fluency and expression is remarkable, something brilliance can’t come close to defining. The words you use are prefaced with looks and gestures that tell the world you not only see it but you love living in it. You listen with your eyes and your heart, and you respond—yes, with words—but more so with your grin, your little quick-step skip, and those arms thrown out beside you to hug the world while you swing your hair and twirl, twirl, twirl."
 
Source: Enjoying the Small Things

Maybe we're the ones getting it all wrong - trying to substitute words for actions and gestures.
Maybe Baker is doing it all right.
Dancing instead of talking. Showing instead of telling.
Maybe he knows the greatest secret in communicating is without words at all.

Here I am trying to teach him the world,
when,
in reality,
I am learning life's greatest lessons from him.

 
 

Friday, January 23, 2015

Twenty-Three Weeks

 
 
 
See that sweet little handprint on the mirror?
 
I know it sounds like the most ridiculous thing in all the world, but I just cannot bring myself to Windex it away.
Some of my favorite moments each day with Baker are mere seconds.
The ones we carefully carve late in the evening, in between scrubbing until he's so clean he squeaks and the moment his incessant jabber finally stops and he succumbs so sweetly to sleep. 
He cocoons himself into a towel too big, plops down on our counter and lets me brush all of the sugar monsters away, comb his hair, lather him in lotion, and sing to the baby in the mirror.
Laughter bounces from each corner.
His little voice the perfect song.
 
Quite often, he reaches out.
His mind inquisitive as to how a mirror reflects his image so perfectly.
One day he'll know.
One day a mirror will no longer hold an adventure.
One day he won't have to touch the face smiling back at him.
One day his handprints will be larger, and he won't sit as easily on our counters.
One day, he'll brush his own teeth, and comb his own hair.
 
These are the moments I sometimes rush.
At the day's end when my feet ache and my belly is threatening to burst right out of my shirt.
When lunches need to be packed, the dryer needs to be started, the dishwasher emptied.
 
Today, he needs me. 
Today, he wants me in his memories.
Today, I'll save the handprint in case tomorrow is the day.
 
 
Whew.
You're welcome. 
Introducing twenty-three weeks of hormones.
Here I am choosing the least awkward bump selfie, or "bumpie," as the cool kids are calling it.
And out of the blue, I lose it over a sticky handprint on the mirror.
Dirt, y'all, has made me a weepy mess.
Instead of obscuring it from view, or directing attention elsewhere, I wrote words about it.
Real words.
And not just a few. 
Two hundred sixty-two of them.
 
You can send your deepest sympathies to my husband.
I know he covets your prayers during this wildly unpredictable time.

 
  
What I'm Eating - The better question would be, what am I not eating? Hello appetite!
Apparently, Little Brother will double in size over the next four weeks. I am trying my best to make sure I do the same.
 
Big Brother Baker - 
 

 
 
 
Sleep - I love it. It hates me. We're at odds right about now.
 
Maternity Clothes - At this point, I could stand to buy a few pieces, but I am really trying to refrain. Early in the pregnancy, I bought a few key items, and I am trying my best to make them work for the next few months. Praise all things good and holy for Shop Riffraff Pikos, Old Navy maternity leggings, the Target clearance rack, and Gap skinnies.
 
Size of Baby - He's about 9 inches long, and just over a pound - the size of a papaya.
 
Baby Name - James Barrett
 
Gender - BOY!
 
What I Miss - Not a whole lot.
 
Best Moment of the Week - I had another ultrasound on Monday to follow up with my anatomy scan last month. Not only did I get to lay eyes on my baby boy again, I got to take my big boy and mom with me! Baker danced while Little Brother's heartbeat filled the room, then lifted up his shirt to bare his belly. Getting to see both of my boys at the same time was almost more than my mommy heart could stand.
 
Our sweet ultrasound technician even printed Baker his very own picture of Baby Barrett. He carried it around so proudly and shared it with everyone we saw on our way out the door.
 
 
 
 
One final thought and confession - I have stared at this little profile for countless hours. I cannot wait to kiss all over his face and memorize his every beautiful feature. Oh baby boy, you take my breath away.
 
 
"Every good and perfect gift is from above coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights."
James 1:17
 


Friday, January 16, 2015

Twenty-Two Weeks

 
 
What I'm Eating - I'm loving cereal, especially for supper. And sliced apples with vanilla yogurt topped with crumbled Heath bits.
 
Big Brother Baker - This week, Baker has started calling Little Brother, "Bear Bear." My heart is a big ole pile of mushy gushy goodness. Brothers are going to be the best!

He's going to teach Barrett everything he knows...I know, because he's currently practicing on Elmo.
This went something like (a combination of signs and words),
"Elmo, Tee Tee? Potty? Yes? Yes. Ok."
"Mama, Elmo. Potty."
Runs to the bathroom. Hops on the toilet. Does intended business. Commences with Tee Tee Dance.
Brian taught him. I'm sure he'll teach you too. Be on the lookout for a YouTube video tutorial.


 
Sleep - Much better! In the words of Madea, "Praise da Lort!"
 
Maternity Clothes - Clothing is about the same this week. The hardest part about the past several days has been the shift from home for the holidays attire to heading back to work.
 
Size of Baby - Little Brother is the size of a spaghetti squash.
 
Baby Name - James Barrett (more on his sweet name here)
 
Gender - A baby boy!
 
What I Miss - Not much at all.
 
Best Moment of the Week - Announcing Little Brother's name. We had so much fun sharing his name with family and friends. It is a name that was chosen specially, with a lot of love, just for our baby boy.

And the kicking - it's out of control! I love each little jab and punch. Oh wild one, you are already so incredibly loved.

A time that's quickly becoming a daily must are early morning walks. I love this quiet time for me, while the rest of the world is still fast asleep. I am trying to walk around 15 miles a week to combat stiffness and swelling and some of the discomfort I felt while pregnant with Baker. Sometimes I take Harley, sometimes it's just James Barrett and me, alone with the Lord to reflect on life. I pray for my boys (all of them) and other prayer needs in our circle of family and friends, sing my favorite praises aloud, set goals for the future, and imagine big things for our growing family.

Workout clothes, especially ones suitable for sub-freezing temperatures are becoming increasingly more difficult to come by. Brian gave me some of his old Under Armour hunting shirts and they are perfect (for today, at least) for my growing belly.

 
 
It's finally sunny here today and we are headed to the Zoo! I cannot wait to be outside, and I always look forward to seeing Baker's face when he sees the animals.
See other Zoo posts here, here, and here.
 
What fun things are you doing for this long weekend?
I hope it's a wonderful one!