I was not going to publish this post, just write it and let it float in Blogger world without being shared for the world to see. But, isn't this where I promised boldness and honesty? So, here goes...
The R word.
Six months ago, I was guilty of laughing along when people used this obscenity. Ashamedly, I have even been guilty of using it myself along life's way. But now that I have a little boy with special needs, who before his hospital discharge papers had been compiled, had paperwork labeling him "mentally retarded," my vocabulary has changed. Now, I hear the R word and I cringe. Now, I hold my Baker a little bit tighter at the insensitivity and ignorance of others. Not that others always use it out of spite or meanness. No, I think it is a word that has been commonplace for so many years, that people use it because it's a part of their repertoire.
Just this week, I was attending a conference with fellow educators. One of the administrators did not understand a process being presented by the facilitator. Instead of raising her hand and asking for an alternate or additional explanation, she stated, "Apparently I am r- and rode the short bus here today." In her defense, she did not know that five and a half sweet months ago, I gave birth to a little angel with Down Syndrome. But it offended me nonetheless. Before Baker, I may have joined the stifled laughter of her colleagues, but Tuesday, I sat quietly and cringed inwardly, knees weak, stomach churning at her response.
You see, we don't know Baker's mental and physical capabilities. Right now, he is progressing beautifully - far surpassing where anyone predicted he would be. We have high expectations for our Baker Boy, but statistics tell us he will likely be slower mentally and physically than his peers. He will likely have to try a little harder. Participate in a few more therapies. Work more intentionally.
I urge you, remove the R word from your vocabulary.
I urge you, be sensitive to people.
I urge you, love others just as they are.
I urge you, live out the golden rule in your lives.
I urge you, read this.
I also urge you to provide encouragement. To Baker. To me and Brian. To other moms and dads, grandmothers and grandfathers, aunts and uncles, sisters and brothers, friends, teachers, and therapists of children with special needs. Lift them up in your prayers. Pray for strength for them. Pray for wisdom as they make decisions that will have a major impact on their child's life. Pray that others who have endured similar situations line their paths to share their stories of hope, love, heartache, and success.
In your journey, wherever that may be, I am praying for you, too.
Praying that God holds you tightly in His palm today. Praying He makes Himself real and known in your life. Praying He comforts hurts, heals wounds, and restores lives.
In Him, our hearts rejoice.
Awesome post!!! Because of my brother being "mentally retarded" I too HATE the R word! All of my life when someone says it I have corrected them and explained to them that was not a word they should be using so lightly. I have been surprised that almost everyone apologizes and refrains from using that word, at least in front of me! So proud of your boldness for being to wire this post! Baker Boy is such a handsome little fella!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Brooke. I thrive on the kind words from you and your sweet mother.
DeleteSo beautifully written Jenn Jenn! My beautifully and wonderfully made nephew has also changed my views on this word.
ReplyDeleteBaker Boy and I love our Jessie Girl so much! Xoxo
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet, well written blog post. Jennifer, I literally just got caught up on Baker's story within the past few weeks. I think I'm a little behind on my social media life :) Anyways-just wanted to tell you I've loved reading about him and I have no doubt that you and Brian are the world's most wonderful parents. Baker is one blessed little boy :) Miss you girl!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, Katie. So good to hear from you!
DeleteMy thoughts too changed several, several years ago after getting to know and love Bradley Smith at Valley View. He is such a delight to know. I love reading your posts and know God put Baker in just the perfect family.
ReplyDeleteBradley taught me so much about strength and perseverance. I am so thankful for sweet blessings like him who have lined our path. Thank you for your encouragement, Mrs. Gail. I love keeping up with your precious grands!
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